So this week we seem to be enduring more teenage challenges. You know when your kids start doing things and you’re thinking, “who the heck are you and where did you come from?” I think as parents we all have those moments where we wonder what alien we are speaking with today, because it can’t be our child…I mean am I right or am I right? I remember a time when these sweet babies, who were always happy, just wanted to play with me. That was the biggest concern of the day, for them anyway. Nowadays, it’s hormones, weird facial expressions, smells (lots and lots of awful smells), and the comment that makes my ears burn and head hurt “Why can’t we do this?” Many of you may be thinking…why would that comment be a big deal? So let me set the stage for you.. When you work one job full-time and two-part time jobs, along with obtaining a Master’s degree, and case managing a family of seven that comment is the worst ever! My mind is constantly racing with how to make everything work…and then miraculously my teenager thinks that they have a better way. A way that, perhaps, I didn’t already think of. A way that somehow will take into consideration all the different things that it takes to make our family run. I know that I have intelligent children, however, they have no clue all the different line items I have running through the spreadsheet in my head. Therefore, they are only taking into consideration what they currently want to/or feel like doing. All this being said, the inpatient Amanda from ten years ago would have given a short, blunt answer that spewed negativity and frustration. The current Amanda takes a moment to explain to ALL of the children, yes that’s right even those who had nothing to do with it, a learning lesson that entails why certain decisions are made. I explain that I have the well-being of our small country in mind. All the citizens of our country have different needs and different schedules (that are color coded in the calendar in my phone). I am not thinking about the well-being of one citizen, I am thinking about the well-being of all citizens. This answer has seemed to suffice thus far, but I know I am going to have to get more creative with my answer in the future. Despite my best efforts, they still keep asking this same question…all the time…every day. So, what is a mom to do? If you know me at all, you know my flair for the dramatic. I like to make impressions on my children, and to be honest, I think as parents we should get to have a little fun with this whole raising of adults gig. You may not agree, but dangit I’m gonna have some fun with it! I talk with my hands, my face gets all red, veins start popping out of my temples (that’s an inherited trait) and I get loud and passionate. Passionate, like I am addressing an entire nation on a crucial political topic. My children are always smiling during these times! They know me well enough to know that through all these antics I love them and I want them to learn how to be functional members of society (plus my speeches bring smiles to anyone!) The other thing they learn in these moments is that I am not going to ignore behaviors, not even the small things, because I care about who they are, who they become, and how they form their opinions. I tell my husband all the time “We can’t save them from life, but we can feel good about knowing that we tried our best and we talked them through.” We are forming the minds of critical thinkers. One day these little critical thinkers will not unconsciously float through life making the same mistakes over and over without addressing these issues within their own minds. They will not go from bad relationship to bad relationship and wonder why it just never works out. No, these critical thinkers will do just that. They will think critically, they will address their own faults, and they will live conscious lives. They will be well aware of how they feel and how they make other people feel. And finally, they will always remember their mothers passionate speeches! Long after I die, these children of mine will remember my flailing hands, red face, and booming voice. They will remember that I cared. They will remember that I loved them..more than anything in the world. Today I will end with this….show your children that you care. Be passionate with them.. Shoot them straight.. Don’t sugar coat it, because life doesn’t sugar coat anything.. Each child’s personality will absorb it differently.. And each child will apply it differently and at different times in their lives.. Regardless of all these variables, each one will know these things for sure: You cared, you tried, and you loved!
blendedfirstfamily 