Outlet

Do you have a healthy outlet? I didn’t use to, but I do now. As I get older and I learn about myself more and more, I realize how important it is for me (and my personality in particular) to have a good healthy stress relieving outlet. When we were first married my husband used to get frustrated with me because I cleaned ALL OF THE TIME. Like, I walked around behind my children picking up every little crumb, toy, and item they may have dropped. My OCD had been in full effect since childhood. Cleaning was stress relief for me. My husband didn’t like it…get this…not because he didn’t want to live in a clean house, but because I LOOKED ANGRY WHILE DOING IT. Hahahaha! He always said, “you look so mad when you are cleaning.” It made him uncomfortable. I used to get frustrated with him for getting frustrated with me. What man says that? I mean come on, just let me clean! It took me a while to learn that cleaning was my coping mechanism. When I couldn’t control a situation or I couldn’t “FIX” a situation, I cleaned. I am a “FIXER” that is my personality. Not in the sense of like Olivia Pope type “fixer” (If you don’t know who that is google it! Good show!) Anyway, I have always had the “fixer” personality. It is why I am a great manager of such a large family and what makes me an exceptional RN. As I have aged, I am starting to experience pains in my body that I am not used to. I have always worked out and exercised, and I suppose now that is catching up with my joints. Oh and all the years of eating like crap because I had an amazing metabolism that went kaput on me. When my thyroid gave up, it all went to hell quickly. STUPID THYROID! I guess since I look at myself everyday, I didn’t even realize what was slowly happening to me. I have a great friend that knew me well enough to know I would be interested in a “clean eating education” that she was hosting. I went and it all made sense. I researched it and it was true. I saw a functional medicine doc that confirmed everything for me. I did more research and more research and more research… all continuing to confirm the benefits of clean eating on our bodies. Being the preventionist that I am, I went in full force. I lost 30 lbs total and have successfully maintained my weight for over a year. Clean eating became my hobby, as well as, changing up my workout routine. In the community that I live in the tribe has a great community health program that provides all kinds of free workout classes that incentivize the entire community to participate and become healthier. I can’t really find an excuse not to participate in a free program, where all I have to do is show up and do what I am told. So, I went. I made friends, I made goals, I met goals, and I have successfully replaced my need for “Angry” cleaning with a need to exert energy and challenge my body. I don’t have any certain body image that I am going for. I just want to feel good in my skin! Remember I am a nurse. I have seen all kinds of bodies. NONE of us are the same. There is no such thing as a perfect body. I can’t compare myself to something that doesn’t exist. It’s like trying to become the “mythical unicorn.” I have accepted that it isn’t gonna happen! On the flip side, my husband is happy because I clean like a normal person, at normal intervals, without an angry face! Sheesh, the compromises we make in marriage! No really, I did have an angry face while cleaning. I just never had anyone watching me do it until I got married. Thanks for pointing that out honey.. shout out to you for keeping my face wrinkles in check! To sum up this random post.. Do you have an outlet? Not an angry outlet, but a real outlet? An outlet that makes you feel good. One that reminds you of who you are as an individual? Not as a spouse, child, employee, or parent but who you are? If you don’t, I highly recommend that you find something that serves as your outlet. In today’s business, we need something to ground us! Have a great day!