It feels like the last few years have been one thing after another. It’s funny how our mind tries to protect itself by forgetting a lot of details. Recently, we found out that we are going to be grandparents. WHAT?? 34 years old and a grandma! I freaked out for a few reasons. Number one: My daughter is 19…yeah so my daughter is 19… Number two: we have 8 people living in our house. Number three: My daughter is 19.. Number four: I can barely keep up with the current 8 people. Number five: My daughter is 19. Number six: I still haven’t slept a full night due to my youngest…and the sleepless cycle continues. Number seven: My daughter is 19. You get the point… I will give you a down low…this is the real deal right here about what I have learned in life and this situation so far. But first, let me explain my personality a bit. I am blunt, outgoing, and as extrovert as it gets. I am a “FIXER.” I have mentioned this before…. When faced with a stressful situation I immediately have a physical/emotional response. A “freak out” period of time, if you will. Depending on the situation and all the other situations that are simultaneously happening this freak out time period could be a few hours or a few weeks. It all depends on the variables involved. Regardless, of the how long it takes me, I always do the right thing. We found out that our daughter was pregnant at the same time that I am helping with a program that I am a part of (which is time-consuming), while I am dealing with some health issues of my own, health issues with our oldest son, and I am currently working full-time and writing my thesis for my Master’s degree that I will be graduating from in April. About the same time that our G-baby Jaxon will be joining us. To say the least…I was on overload. The day-to-day stresses of 5 children and work and school and household chores and scheduling children’s appointments and my own homework is daunting. Not to mention I have another part-time job to help bring up the slack for medical bills. At this point it just starts getting insane.. Alright, now let me bring it back to what I have learned in life and what this situation has taught me. I will start with this..I got pregnant at 19 and had my first child. The situation was stressful and his father and I were not together. (My husband adopted my son.) The comments and guessing games of who my “baby daddy” could be, from members of my small community became comical but stung non-the-less. Being a single mother, living with my best friend, and going to college was hard. I lived in a nasty apartment (it was all we could afford) and was always stressed. At the time I was so mad at my dad for hanging me out to dry. Now, I am thankful that he was hard on me. I learned how to survive. Those years were character building for me. I learned how to push through the struggle. That’s for sure… It made me even more of a fighter than I already was and I am thankful for that. Of course, all of these memories come flooding back when we find out that our daughter is pregnant. I am instantly reminded of how hard it was, how I had to talk myself in to finishing school (a few times), and how stressed I was (that hasn’t really changed, I just handle it better.) I went through the last month wondering how to handle this situation. Do I become crazy momma bear and make sure everything is just right and so so? The OCD part of me wants to do that!! Badly!! Once I got through my initial reaction (it took a few weeks) I landed on a better plan. My husband and I talked nightly about how to encourange our daughter to take responsibility and teach her what parenting is. If we do everything for her, how are we setting her up to be ready? This was so hard for me. I want to protect her and Jaxon. I know things will get done if I am doing them. (Again, that is the OCD talking.) I prayed, Alan and I prayed, and we talked. We sought advice from our parents.. ALL of which had children who had kids at a young age. We asked them what they thought about us? How did they make the decisions they made for us? They all said the same thing in different ways. Pretty much, I have to let go and support my daughter rather than do everything. (Again, this is so freaking hard for me) All of these conversations are happening while my father is moving out. (He lived with us for 3 and 1/2 years) and then I have to let go of a child too? It’s too much.. My daughter moved in with my mom to have more space for her and the baby and so our other kiddos have some space of their own. We all felt like that would work better so that she could have privacy and my mom has two extra rooms, she lives alone, and she has great snuggle boobs. (It’s a fact Nana, baby’s love those boobs!) Taking all these things into consideration it was what was needed. So now here I am with what feels like the most empty house I have ever lived in. (we still have 6 people..lol..gosh I am so dramatic) This situation has reminded me of a lesson that I have learned so many times in life.. I can’t control it and I can’t fix it. I have to have faith that I have taught all the lessons and that my kids have listened and GOD has them. If there is ever a test of faith, this has been it for me. I want my daughter to succeed! I want her to realize what she is capable of! I want her to have confidence in who she is! None of these things happen if I do it all for her… So, I let go and come along side her in support of her needs when she asks. ( I didn’t think this time would come for a while. I wasn’t ready for all these parenting decisions!) Now that I have gotten my millions of emotions off of my chest I have to say all the positives. This will most likely be the most loved child who has ever lived! Between our familly and his father’s family he will always have love! He has amazing grandparents on both sides who have so much life experience to teach him. He has aunts of all ages and uncles who will more than likely be like older brothers to him! Who doesn’t need a few older brothers and cousins to have your back? Now that all of our life changes are done for at least another few months, I can focus on being a Gigi and doing what grandmas do…FREAKING SUGAR THEM UP AND SEND THEM HOME! I have always said that I was made to be a grandma! I am going to love this! I didn’t plan on being this young as a grandma but I am going to kill it and so will my husband. I plan on still being able to out run him in ten years! That’s the definition of a kick ass grandma, one that can out run you!! Yes…people… I am going to nail this grandma gig! Have a great Thanksgiving!!
Amanda
blendedfirstfamily 